Living Visions

If you were to peruse the many lengthy posts, past the even lengthier permanent post and were able to some how piece together a chronology of truth, you might begin in April of 2008.

For two days I attended a Loral Langemeier business conference in Dallas, TX. NO ONE wanted to hear about my business choices: neither the business directory nor the "public speaking". They were steering me towards Graphic Design or some such thing.

Then upon meeting Loral I blurted out that I was going to be the Loral Langemeier of Christian Education. Good Lord! And my angst was more over saying such a dumb thing to Ms. Langemeier rather than where the heck did that come from?

But on the plane ride home I had my first ever vision and indeed did see myself speaking to masses of women. Women? Check out my non-profit and you'll see I've been primarily focused on teens! Where the heck did that come from?

So yes, I started that directory anyway and began researching the "public speaking" because I was going to do both, daggone it! And the directory led me to the Bishop who agreed immediately to be my mentor in "public speaking".

But still the vision persisted - and it grew! The details became clearer and crazier in my mind - but certainly clearer. And I kept them under wraps convinced I was nuts.

Then a prophet read my nutty thoughts and told them all back to me. Then the Bishop confirmed all those nutty thoughts and told them all back to me. Where the heck did all of that come from?

And so yes, I did my first speaking engagement at the Bishop's church - what a rush! I knew the Spirit of God had anointed me that night but still it was as if I was still saying, where the heck did that come from?

And I spoke again, and did a little something else, and I began teaching at the Bible College and I began pursuing a licence in ministry... hold up... yes, I did say minister's license. Now where the heck did THAT come from?

Somewhere along the way I had to admit that this was not just a career path and a really cool job - finally. Somewhere along the line I had answered and acknowledge just exactly where this was all coming from: God Himself.

I had been called. I had finally recognized the sound I had heard for so many, many years. Finally, every experience, every pain, every joy and every heart ache made sense - this was why: so that that I may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith I have been comforted of God. (2 Cor 1:4)

And I have had to transform myself through the renewing of my thoughts: I would like to be a minister; I am called to be a minister; I am working on becoming a minister; I am a minister elect; I AM A MINISTER of the Gospel of Jesus Christ!

And now I must admit I am still being transformed by the renewing of my thinking: The Vision.
Yeah, that one - way back in April.

It's time ya'll... it's 'bout time to begin. It's time to be about my Father's business. Just as prophecies are meant to be told, visions are meant to be lived...

Birth Announcement

Well - the post below entitled "Gestation" states I would be giving birth soon - and indeed, I did.

I personally have never actually been pregnant, although I do have a young son that came to us when he was just a few weeks old, so I cannot say how accurate this analogy is...

However, since the birth of my new "baby" it has been as if I'd forgotten I was pregnant and forgotten the labor as I struggle to get a acquainted with this new "infant" and the joys and process of nurturing this new addition to my life. And, I'd forgotten I'd written "Gestation".

Well - the post below says I'd scheduled a cesarean section which implies a fairly immediate birth and scheduled arrival. So, if I'm keeping with the analogy, I would say perhaps labor started on the day I was to have surgery and instead of going ahead with the cesarean, the doctor in charge (God Himself) said, "No surgery, you will go through labor no matter how long it takes."

I think I had a false labor in June - the date of my scheduled cesarean. And I had another false labor in August - but the birth of my baby actually was September 12, 2008!

And - the post below says I would upload not only the birth announcement, but pictures also. Ha! Pictures have been taken, but I don't have them so instead I will give you the standard statistical information required for each true birth announcement.

Name of Baby: My call from the Lord to teach, preach and make disciples "for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ." Ephesians 4:12

Birthdate: September 12, 2008

Weight: Matthew 11:28: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Because I am "like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth fruit in due season; my leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever I do shall prosper."

Length: Matthew 28:20: "Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen."

It's Here: I'm Here.

I've been reading T.D. Jakes' "Repositioning Yourself" - I just started.

In reading it so far, I've been faced with two areas of thought.

On the one hand, I'm really proud of myself for what I've accomplished and how much I've done.

On the other hand, I am both saddened and energized at the thought of finally overcoming my barriers of fear! If I had been living so boldly at my first revelation of fear - truly bold and not hesitantly bold - how much more would I have accomplished? How much more can I accomplish and when can I once and for all eradicate the fear that is left??

My angst and anxiousness over this fear is like finding a cancerous lump just below the surface of my skin: I can feel it. I know it must come out. I want it out so badly I would cut it out myself if it weren't for the fear of pain or damage to myself.

Which is more palpable? The fear of the cancer of fear? The pain and damage of removing it myself? Or the fear that I will not find someone to do it for me in time - has it already spread; latching on to far too many areas of my life to actually remove it all?

I ask these questions because on the heels of excitement I feel the fear lingering; hovering; like a vulture; waiting for the failure so it can pounce, attack and feed on my moment of weakness.

Here I am.

I am living the life of my plans!!

(1) The settlement and the inheritance are finally about to come to a close. I will be able to pay my bills, pay the house, pay off the last of my debt and save for mine and my families futures.

(2) I am working that flexible, fun, daily "job" and once I begin to meet my monthly minimum, I will be able to cover our basic needs and the current bills, groceries, gas and so forth.

(3) I have received leads and a gig for my company. It is slowly growing and will help provide more for our daily needs as well as assist in the growth of the parent organization.

(4) I am boldly building the organization. Stepping out on faith and pushing it towards the goals that exist for it. I am pushing myself towards the goals I have placed on myself in order to bring this organization truly to a viable, fruit-bearing, fruition.

(5) And by pushing myself to do this I have completed some writing and will complete more and have actually finished the calendar fundraiser - my first published literary work of art.

It is Here.

And it is available now for sale: The 2008 Destination Inspiration "What If" Wall Calendar

So, if it is here, and I am here - both of us exactly where I'd like us to be. And more prayerfully, exactly where the Lord intends for us to be. Which means He has been answering my prayers for Proverbs 16:9 "Man devises his plan, but the Lord directs his steps." Yea, me!

And that is why the fear is hovering like a vulture. "For God has not given the spirit of fear; but of POWER, and of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND."

It is the enemy that manufactures my fear and on the tail of my POWER through Christ, he launches a valiant and re-energized attempt to make me think the Lord doesn't love me enough to continue to answer, to bless, to guide me through to the end I foresee and therefore disrupting my peace of mind and effectively undermining and undercutting my power.

Shame, shame. Shame on me. Shame on fear. I must cut you out with a dull butter knife and praise the Lord almighty for the pain and the damage - knowing that it is through His strength that I will prevail!

I am prevailing!

Scriptures

For the past five years now I have been living on scriptures like air to breathe, water to thrive and a floatation device to survive.

Sustaining me; engaging me; pertaining specifically to me.

Reminding me, denying me, aligning me with hope.

For five years now I've been living on scriptures: like air, like water, like floating...

For GOD has not given the SPIRIT of Fear, but of POWER and of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND. Leaving behind the same old doubts and boughts of uncertainty.

Pushing myself with power, loving my self anew - each and every hour, reminding my mind it's Ok. Everything will be OK.

For five years now I've been living on scriptures: breathing, thriving, surviving...

A [Woman's] heart devises [her] plan: but the LORD directs [her] steps. All bets are off, though I may be off in thinking I'll pull this off, I'm pushing on and on and on to the end.

Make plain my plan, don't stray my steps: adhere, revere, sincerely refraining from fear.

For five years now and hope for five more - No Fear, FEAR NOT. Love me, Love me NOT, strength like a boy scout square knot, I'll NOT give into to the knots within my stomach from fear, FEAR NOT.

For five years now and hope for five more - the plan, the steps, like a staircase up; baby steps, step up, step it up a notch; the goal, the dream, that seems undoable: undone; the way and the plan to final completion.

(II Timothy 1: 7/Proverbs 16:9)

"The Plan"

These are the confessions of a talented, hard-working, creative genius with purpose (formerly known as an irresponsible, flaky and distracted "mentally gifted minor" with so much potential).

I'm putting this plan out into the world, out into the "universe" and laying it all in God's hands. I am now accountable if only to the imaginary few whom I believe will see and read this post.

1. I will pursue all efforts to secure my settlement and the sale of my property in order that I can pay off the final amounts of all my outstanding debt so that I can be emotionally and financially free to...
2. ...work hard at my creative, flexible "job" in order to pay my regular, minimum monthly household expenditures of $1000 and have the time and ability to...
3. ...build my "career" and entrepreneurial endeavors so that I will have the foundation and finances necessary to...
4. ...pursue all necessary speaking engagements, pilot programs and fund-raising opportunities that would lay the ground work for and...
5. ...establish the ultimate goal of opening the Destination Christian Arts Academy, its auxiliaries and all the associated D.R.E.A.M. programs.

Proverbs 16:9 "Man devises his plan, but the Lord directs his steps."

"The Accomplishment"

Proverbs 13:12 & 19a: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. A desire accomplished is sweet to the soul;"

In December 2003, I boldly took the steps to incorporate a non-profit idea I'd had for years. I jumped into this corporation head first. It is so unlike me! Usually I test the water, stick in a toe and yank it out. Then wade to my ankle, shudder and jump right out. Only to repeat the process until finally submerged in the water. Not this time.

This time I took a deep breath and plunged right in. I got my articles of incorporation: Destination Christian Services, Inc. I established my business licenses and the DBA's for all corporate auxiliaries: Jubilation! Full-Services Weddings & Events; Destination Publications; Mommy's Happy Helpers and more. I then got to work on and posted all the associated web pages: www.dcscompanies.com; www.destinationchristianservices.net; www.jubilationparties.com and www.mommyshappyhelpers.com. I got checking accounts, I got business cards, I made all my business documents and established advertising. All of it WAY... TOO... SOON!

Only months before incorporating, I had finally determined this idea was truly the will of the Lord Almighty. Within hours of that determination, I finally accepted that this idea was more than the will of the Lord, but that it was my one true, God given purpose in life. And minutes after that acceptance I was rocked with the magnitude and specific details of that plan and just exactly what was God's intention for it all.

But in one small way, I knew that I needed to jump right in or I would find a way to procrastinate and never get it done. Now I must back-track, jump-ahead and scramble for a way to get it all done and reach my ultimate goal

This is my scattered plan for achieving that specific and detailed, mind-boggling, will-of-God goal - the purpose for my life.

• Create and maintain all associated websites
• Create and complete the academy curriculum
• Create a sample lesson from the curriculum
• Create and publish all manuals and associated documentation
• Create and publish associated works for publication
• Create and establish speeches and evangelistic engagements
• Create and distribute all fund-raising related product
• Create and administer all satellite programs
• Create and maintain the online academy
• Create and produce all fund-raising events
• Create and utilize all scholarship programs
• Create membership programs and establish a solid Board of Directors
• Create and complete all necessary legal and financial documentation
• Create and establish all sponsorship programs
• Create and implement all student recruitment programs
• Create and maintain all aspects of advertisement and networking
• Create and continue; continue to create; create and complete.

II Corinthians 9:7-15 "Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work: (As it is written, He hath dispersed abroad; he hath given to the poor: his righteousness remaineth for ever. Now he that ministereth seed to the sower both minister bread for your food, and multiply your seed sown, and increase the fruits of your righteousness;) Being enriched in every thing to all bountifulness, which causeth through us thanksgiving to God. For the administration of this service not only supplieth the want of the saints, but is abundant also by many thanksgivings unto God; Whiles by the experiment of this ministration they glorify God for your professed subjection unto the gospel of Christ, and for your liberal distribution unto them, and unto all men; And by their prayer for you, which long after you for the exceeding grace of God in you. Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift."