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NEW DIRECTION; OLD PATHS...

This blog has been evolved several times since its inception. It started as a platform for a writer's musings Then it became a witne...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

CALL & RESPONSE...

Acts 26:16: But rise, and stand upon thy feet: for I have appeared unto thee for this purpose, to make thee a minister and a witness both of these things which thou hast seen, and of those things in the which I will appear unto thee;

I was incomplete. I had no purpose, no new plan and at 42 years old I still was searching for what I wanted to be now that I was "grown up." I decided once and for all that I would choose my absolute dream career, decide what I would need to change about my life to accomplish it and do so with professional, determined fervor and wisdom. I looked to the core of my being - what I loved, what I was especially good at and what I would be proud to say was my career until the end of my days.

The answer: writer and speaker.

I searched the internet, read books and joined social network groups looking for people doing the same thing. I asked questions, joined online discussions and attended seminars and webinars. Those gave me a step-by-step plan for changing a career and two of the most important suggestions everyone and every book made consistently was to make a plan and find a mentor.

I made a month-by-month outline for writing and publishing specific works and I set out to find a mentor. I joined the Sylmar Chamber of Commerce which ultimately led me to a man, a pastor and a Bishop who looked me in my eyes upon first meeting and asked me what he could do for me. Jokingly I got bold and told him he could be my mentor. Immediately he agreed and immediately he followed through.

Months later in July 2008, his wife invited me to speak at her women's fellowship. I had just completed and published the first booklet on my list. I was right on track to publish one a month. Now I was officially a speaker, author and a publisher - and all to the Glory of God! I knew I was well on my way towards finally finding myself.

Afterward, the Bishop made a video of the engagement and posted my name as Min. Deidre Campbell-Jones. It looked good. But I admitted I was not a minister when he'd asked and he told me I would need to be if I wanted to get paid by churches for my speaking engagements. They asked me to begin teaching at the Bible College that September and I considered joining the ministry school, but chose a free online course instead.

For weeks prior, maybe even months - I had been suffering a terrible itch in my feet. The burning was consuming and unpredictable. I hadn't used a new soap, nor had I recently used any new lotions, no new shoes or socks - just the same 42 year old feet!

But I changed lotions, used oils, slept in medicated lotion and pedicure socks, soaked in medicated foot baths, exfoliated with foot scrubs, increased my pedicures - I tried nearly everything but the itch would not stop. Oh, yeah - I scratched, and scratched and scratched.

Nothing helped.

It began to be a distraction. Shoes would get kicked off at the most inappropriate times - to scratch. Flip-flops were worn in inappropriate circumstances - to scratch, and my walk changed, my talk changed and even my focus changed all because of the itching, burning and scratching.

Everything I tried made the itching increase - although my feet were supple, smooth and soft!

Finally, in a frantic, burning panic I went to the church on a Wednesday afternoon. I didn't know what to expect, didn't know what to ask. I knew one of the church leaders was said to have the gift of healing, but I'd never seen it for myself, never experienced it and wasn't even sure I believed in it. I also wasn't even sure if she was even going to be at the church, but I went anyway - if nothing else but to cry out to the Lord in prayer for relief.

She was there and as soon as she hugged me she said - "Oh, come on, let's pray." She took me into the sanctuary and she kicked off her sandals. I took off my flip-flops. She anointed my head with oil and began to pray. I cannot remember one word of what she said accept at one point she said, "Yes, there it is."

I could barely pray with her. I was distracted. I don't know if I was waiting for the itching to stop or for white lights to descend from heaven or an angel of the Lord to walk through the door and announce I was healed. But at the end of her prayer, none of that had happened and the burning had not been abated. She told me the "Lord would minister to me for three days." I didn't know what that meant and I went home bleary-eyed.

For three days the burning and itching did not stop. Finally, I was driven to the word of God in sheer desperation and craze. I went to my online bible concordance and typed in "feet". I had no idea what I was looking for or what I might find, but I found what God wanted me to see.

Acts 26:16: But rise, and stand upon thy feet: for I have appeared unto thee for this purpose, to make thee a minister and a witness both of these things which thou hast seen, and of those things in the which I will appear unto thee;

And visible right under that scripture was this:
Rom:10:15: And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!

I was sent to my knees with tears of stunning revelation! Could it be true? Without a doubt it was true. Like a zombie I walked upstairs, crying, dazed and bewildered. It was time to get dressed for the day. I showered and in that shower I realized my feet did not itch or burn!

"Yes! Yes, Lord - I understand and I accept!" And it was then that I was anointed and baptized with the Holy Ghost.

I went back to the scriptures to see what had happened to me - what did I just do? What did I just accept? Acts 26:16 continues with this: 17: Delivering thee from the people, and from the Gentiles, unto whom now I send thee, 18: To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me.

Am I really to be sent? Can I really do all this? Not alone - not on my own; only with and through the power of the Holy Ghost.

I remained drunk and bewildered, distracted by the Spirit of God upon me for the rest of the day and Saturday too. On Sunday my Bishop was teaching and his sermon led us to the book of Luke and my eyes wandered away from the text and found Luke 4:18-19 "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord."

There. I was reconciled. I went to the altar - with no more tears - but peace, indescribable peace. Oh, yeah and soft, supple, itch-free, BEAUTIFUL feet!

That Tuesday, after Bible Study an older, newly licensed pastor was saying goodbye to me, walked away and came back. "The Lord just told me to give you this bible." It was a paperback ESV version. "Ok, thank you." I said, wondering what God was up to now.

That same day as I was rereading the scriptures God had given me regarding my calling, I noticed that Romans 10:15 was in all-caps. In my study bible that means those words are a direct quote from the Old Testament. I decided to search for the original text - it proved to be a little bit of a challenge. I found it - Isaiah 52:7 (all my favorite numbers). I was looking for my large study bible to look it up and passed by the ESV I'd just been given and decided to find it there: "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!"

There. I was complete. I have finally found myself. Oh, the journey is just beginning, the trials will be harder, newer and more challenging. And walking by faith may lead me down a long and grueling road. But my feet... will be beautiful, no matter what!

One year later, and badly in need of a pedicure I will receive my license into the service of the Kingdom of God as a Minister of the Gospel.

Finally I am what I never knew I always wanted to be when I grew up. Now maybe it's time to grow up. Nah... I think I'll schedule a pedicure instead! :D

Power, love & peace ya'll! (2 Timothy 1:7)
"~Min. Dez"

This is a stationary post.

Destiny's Journey


Some journeys are well traveled roads. Common, familiar and easy. We cruise along the path oblivious to the process as we habitually turn each corner, climb each hill and break each slope. Only to arrive, blink and wonder how we managed without incident or memory of the trip.

This journey - my journey - is not like that. This journey is one of reluctance, hesitance, unsurity, insecurity and yes, a moderate amount of fear.

As I open the window for you to view my progress, you will undoubtedly come to your own conclusion based upon the progress of your own journey - and your observations will be varied.

Some might say that I am making slow but steady progress toward a clear destination. Others may say that I am floundering and wandering aimlessly down a muddy road with too many directions to choose from.

I say my journey has just begun, although it started more than 10 years ago. I say I still have such a long, long way to go, although I am teetering on the precipice of completion. I say the journey has made me weary, leery and weak, although I trudge on with a strength and endurance that is beyond me. I say the path is muddy, with many obstacles, directions and difficulties still yet to come. However, my destination is clear - crazy, unimaginable, overwhelming and clear.

When this path first appeared it was like a hazy, dirt road on a foggy day. I peered at it without knowing what it was or where it was going - then tried to ignore it as inconsequential. When the path persisted I joked as to where it might lead, then still tried to dismiss it as a path not meant for me.

It was years before the view of the path cleared and I was able to see the destination more clearly. It was absurd to think that the reality of where this path could end up would be in a place far more outlandish than even my most absurd imaginings! OK, maybe - just maybe this path ended up in a very good place - but a place still not meant for me. Definitely not me.

Why not me? Who else but me, since I was the only one to see? Please, Dear God, not me! Yes, me. This path was meant for me.

And so I watched it, argued with it, denied it and tried to imagine a life without pursuing it.

Four - no five, has it already been five? Five years ago I accepted it. I stuck out a big toe like testing the cold water of a pool - then yanked my foot back like I so often would. I wrote about it, dreamed about it, and tried it on for size in the privacy of my dressing room of life. And by the way, I still watched it, argued with it, denied it and tried to imagine a life without pursuing it.

Three - sorry, I forgot - Four years ago I made up my mind. I packed my bags, said good bye to the sanity and sanctuary of friends and family who always had thought they understood me, and I took my first hesitant and frightened step.

In these last four years I have walked, sometimes trotted, but never quite run toward a goal I think is crazy. I have stopped, I have even sat down and I have wistfully looked back to a time when I did not know and could not see what was meant for me.

But I will not stop. I packed my bags (all my baggage), and made up my mind. Armed with nothing but 2 scriptures and a great deal of hope, I continue to trudge on driven by the surity that if - just if - I happen to arrive at this awesome, fearsome destination, it will be extraordinary, phenomenal and inconceivably wonderful. This destination...

A destination, a journey to a place that is called destiny. My destiny. Destiny's purpose in life. My God given purpose.

Sometimes while we travel, we see another driver, glance in that direction and never take note or give them another thought. Perhaps that is how you will see me.

Sometimes we see another traveler and something catches our eye. We may watch a moment, muse a moment or even briefly wonder... Then they continue on their own separate way and thoughts of them fade as quickly as they do. Perhaps that will be how you see me.

Other times we get caught in traffic, bunched up with drivers because of fate. And whether we cruise along peacefully or struggle with road rage, we share a community of progress, each with our own destination. Perhaps that will be how you experience me.

And on rare occasion on our own individual roads of life, we travel a path where we encounter another driver - seemingly traveling to the same basic place. At times they follow us and then we follow them. We may take note of who they are and what they drive - possibly even read a licence plate. We'll share a moment or even a long while - silently and separately together, with maybe a glance, a smile or a brief a wave of acknowledgement. Perhaps that will be how you experience me.

I cannot say how long this path will be for me, so whether you glance and move on - never to take notice; or whether you wonder a moment at who I am and where I'm going; or whether you follow a while, smile and wave or better yet, if you decide to stay for the journey, I invite you to come along for the ride.

***
Please click on the "Stuff From Before" link to Destiny's Journey to make your comments.