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This blog has been evolved several times since its inception. It started as a platform for a writer's musings Then it became a witne...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008


Here is a snippet of truth...

Our God given purpose is like an egg cell in the ovary of a woman. When a female is born it is said that we already have all the eggs we'll ever have. Some will ripen to ovulation, most will not.

And just like that egg cell, I believe we are born with the seed of God's given purpose for our lives - lying dormant until ripened into fruition. Sometimes it does... most times it does not.

And like a little girl who dreams of getting married and having babies, we often dream of growing up and fulfilling some grand purpose for our lives. And even though girls dream of a life with children - they almost never dream of pregnancy, morning sickness, labor pains and cesareans. And they absolutely cannot envision exactly what day those children will be born, what they will look like, how they will act or what grades they'll get in school.

And so we grow dreaming of a purpose but cannot actually, truly know what that purpose will be. We must wait for and hope for the implantation of thought that gestates into an idea, that labors into activity and finally is birthed into reality.

Here's some "womanly" information you may not want to know the details of: Some women can "tell" when they are ovulating. They experience some aching, some cramping, moodiness and maybe some spotting. Yuck.

But I say, there is the same kind of discomfort when the seed of purpose is ripening as well.

I was going through this pre-cycle discomfort for a while prior to attending a business seminar in Dallas, TX this past April. And without knowing it - my formerly barren womb of opportunity was actually ovulating my seed of purpose. One thing led to another and wham, bam thank you ma'am - two weeks later I'm waiting on a phone call like waiting on a pregnancy test. Let me back up a moment.

I must confess that when in Dallas I did not fall in love with my future - I did not get a quickie marriage to my purpose. No... instead it was as if I had an illicit one-night-stand weekend! Truth be told, it was as if I had to sneak around whenever I mentioned this possible purpose. It was frowned upon as a no-no and if I am to continue with the analogy, it was as if the leaders of this conference were arranging a marriage for me and were suggesting adoption for my barren womb of purpose. Oh, but the weekend was filled with such passion and emotion and excitement that I could not be lured away from my two-night affair with destiny.

Like an adoptive mother waiting to be matched, I waited for two-weeks for that call that would confirm my marriage and adoption. But admittedly, while I waited... I took care, and continued to do all the right things... just in case I was truly "pregnant" with truth.

Sure enough, days before the call my purpose test turned positive - the seed of truth had ripened, been fertilized, implanted and had begun it's quiet gestation. Weeks later, like a trip to the doctor, a local prophet whom I had only met a few times confirmed my "pregnancy" by confirming my purpose with such accuracy there was no more denying my truth.

It has been a short gestation, but it has not been without it's morning sickness, anticipation, anxiety, excitement and glorious joy at the mere thought of my future.

And now I am proud to say that on this Friday I am scheduled for a Cesarean - a forced birth of purpose, if you will. And I cannot wait! Trust me, I know that after this purpose is born there will still be all the ups and downs of parenting responsibility to contend with. My new "baby" will get sick and will have growth spurts. My new "baby" will grow and get stronger, maybe get ornery, will try to give me trouble and will always be a joy.

It is impossible to envision exactly what my new purpose will look like, but I have a pretty good idea and I am already in love! But come this Friday all things will change as I finally give birth and am able to properly parent my Presidential purpose.

I will upload a birth announcement with pictures of my new baby...

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This is a stationary post.

Destiny's Journey

Some journeys are well traveled roads. Common, familiar and easy. We cruise along the path oblivious to the process as we habitually turn each corner, climb each hill and break each slope. Only to arrive, blink and wonder how we managed without incident or memory of the trip.

This journey - my journey - is not like that. This journey is one of reluctance, hesitance, unsurity, insecurity and yes, a moderate amount of fear.

As I open the window for you to view my progress, you will undoubtedly come to your own conclusion based upon the progress of your own journey - and your observations will be varied.

Some might say that I am making slow but steady progress toward a clear destination. Others may say that I am floundering and wandering aimlessly down a muddy road with too many directions to choose from.

I say my journey has just begun, although it started more than 10 years ago. I say I still have such a long, long way to go, although I am teetering on the precipice of completion. I say the journey has made me weary, leery and weak, although I trudge on with a strength and endurance that is beyond me. I say the path is muddy, with many obstacles, directions and difficulties still yet to come. However, my destination is clear - crazy, unimaginable, overwhelming and clear.

When this path first appeared it was like a hazy, dirt road on a foggy day. I peered at it without knowing what it was or where it was going - then tried to ignore it as inconsequential. When the path persisted I joked as to where it might lead, then still tried to dismiss it as a path not meant for me.

It was years before the view of the path cleared and I was able to see the destination more clearly. It was absurd to think that the reality of where this path could end up would be in a place far more outlandish than even my most absurd imaginings! OK, maybe - just maybe this path ended up in a very good place - but a place still not meant for me. Definitely not me.

Why not me? Who else but me, since I was the only one to see? Please, Dear God, not me! Yes, me. This path was meant for me.

And so I watched it, argued with it, denied it and tried to imagine a life without pursuing it.

Four - no five, has it already been five? Five years ago I accepted it. I stuck out a big toe like testing the cold water of a pool - then yanked my foot back like I so often would. I wrote about it, dreamed about it, and tried it on for size in the privacy of my dressing room of life. And by the way, I still watched it, argued with it, denied it and tried to imagine a life without pursuing it.

Three - sorry, I forgot - Four years ago I made up my mind. I packed my bags, said good bye to the sanity and sanctuary of friends and family who always had thought they understood me, and I took my first hesitant and frightened step.

In these last four years I have walked, sometimes trotted, but never quite run toward a goal I think is crazy. I have stopped, I have even sat down and I have wistfully looked back to a time when I did not know and could not see what was meant for me.

But I will not stop. I packed my bags (all my baggage), and made up my mind. Armed with nothing but 2 scriptures and a great deal of hope, I continue to trudge on driven by the surity that if - just if - I happen to arrive at this awesome, fearsome destination, it will be extraordinary, phenomenal and inconceivably wonderful. This destination...

A destination, a journey to a place that is called destiny. My destiny. Destiny's purpose in life. My God given purpose.

Sometimes while we travel, we see another driver, glance in that direction and never take note or give them another thought. Perhaps that is how you will see me.

Sometimes we see another traveler and something catches our eye. We may watch a moment, muse a moment or even briefly wonder... Then they continue on their own separate way and thoughts of them fade as quickly as they do. Perhaps that will be how you see me.

Other times we get caught in traffic, bunched up with drivers because of fate. And whether we cruise along peacefully or struggle with road rage, we share a community of progress, each with our own destination. Perhaps that will be how you experience me.

And on rare occasion on our own individual roads of life, we travel a path where we encounter another driver - seemingly traveling to the same basic place. At times they follow us and then we follow them. We may take note of who they are and what they drive - possibly even read a licence plate. We'll share a moment or even a long while - silently and separately together, with maybe a glance, a smile or a brief a wave of acknowledgement. Perhaps that will be how you experience me.

I cannot say how long this path will be for me, so whether you glance and move on - never to take notice; or whether you wonder a moment at who I am and where I'm going; or whether you follow a while, smile and wave or better yet, if you decide to stay for the journey, I invite you to come along for the ride.

Please click on the "Stuff From Before" link to Destiny's Journey to make your comments.