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This blog has been evolved several times since its inception. It started as a platform for a writer's musings Then it became a witne...

Saturday, July 10, 2004

The History

Since its inception in 2003, Destination Christian Services, Inc. has had a rocky if not stoic onset.

I realize it is because I am doing it all by myself.

Initially I had to choose several names to be officers on the Articles of Incorporation. I tried to choose names of individuals who love me, supported me and who may at one point be willing to participate in this project with me.

I chose husband, brother-in-law (BIL), 2 best friends and 1 friend and her husband. The friend and her husband were apparently not friends and we did not see eye-to-eye and so, they were the first to go. Replaced with Godsister and a male friend of BIL who had expressed a deep belief in Christ. Godsister lives a deep belief in Christ and moved to Washington to become a teacher at a Christian school. She is the second to go. She is replaced by BIL's girlfriend who expressed a deep desire to one day work with kids in the area of dance. BIL's male friend is unreachable - did he read packet? I don't know. Did he receive emails? I don't know. Talk to him in person? "Yeah, yeah - let's get together and you can tell me what it's all about." Read the packet... read the email. Never mind. He was the third to go. Replaced with a tennis student of the hubby who has a growing belief in Christ. BIL's girlfriend quits dancing and gets a job in the health field.

Am I really doing this all by myself?

The hubby couldn't tell you anything about this organization - probably not even the name. The BIL couldn't tell you anything about this organization - not even the name. BIL's girlfriend couldn't tell you anything about this organization - definitely not even the name! 2 best friends, probably would try to tell you a little about this organization and would try to remember the name - but could not. They both have supported individual activities as best they could. Yikes! There was an Auntie too... where is Auntie? We've both forgotten about each other. The hubby's student probably would be an excellent member if I had something strong enough for her to be a member of. I have no active Board of Directors.

I am really doing this all by myself.

When you incorporate, the government gives you approximately 2 years before they take a look to see that you are not trying to fraud the system. If you are a non-profit they may give you a little leeway on time, but if they think you are defrauding the system financially, the penalties are steep. I decide I'd better apply for my non-profit status before they take a look and decide I need an audit. I pay a lawyer $1000 to take a look at my organizational structure and tell me if it's a viable venture and to help me apply for the 501.c3 status. That's all.

The lawyer - a very cool young woman - takes my $1000 and says that for that cost (even though she ordinarily charges $250 an hour) she will help me with the 501.c3 application, hire an accountant for the financial information, train my Board of Directors and... by the way, if I DON'T pursue this organization I am "doing myself and the world a great disservice." I am totally smitten and my fragile, damaged, insecure ego is boosted right over the last edge of confidence obstacle I had. Apparently it must have for her too.

Because as I started growing and becoming more confident, so did she! She began to instruct me, give me homework and check up on me. Call these people, ask them these questions. Look up this website, send them this email, create this program and enlist these people. Yea, OK. I mean, she was helping, right? She was supporting, right? She was motivating me, right? She was giving me the (basically free) benefit of all her experience, right? Right. Or so I thought.

However, she was not... reading any of the information I sent her on the organization as it was currently designed. She was not at all doing any of the work on, nor had she even read the 501.c3 application. She could not answer any of my questions on the application and, I could not follow through with the accountant until I got answers to some of the previous questions. She did not help with the application. Finally, she could not, or would not provide training to the Board in the format in which they were already used to dealing with DCS. She wanted a face to face. Nope - won't happen. She wanted a video conference. Ha! Fat chance. She wanted a telephone conference call. Nice try. How about email and back it up with a mailed copy? Nope. No can do. Is she the 4th to go?

May as well, I seem to be doing this all by myself.

I held my first fund-raiser. Wow, I did it all by myself! My first accomplishment in this crazy venture. I wanted to hold a poetry contest for teens. No poets submitted. So, I requested of my BoD to turn in their favorite, most inspirational scripture. Only a few responded. So I enlisted friends, other family and Mom & Dad. I was intent on getting 12 scriptures. I finally did, including my own and created the official "Destination Inspiration" T-shirt. It was a giveaway for donations. The online, weekend event commenced. Mom & Dad weighed in, Aunts & Uncles weighed in. Cousins weighed in. 1 (best friend) Board Member weighed in. Grand total: $500. A very good showing for a first fund-raiser... right?

Right. T-shirts cost: $350; spent $100 to buy items for 20 personal care kits and distributed them to a teen homeless shelter. Probably spent the last $50 on postage to send each person who donated as well as each board member (and the lawyer) a T-shirt. I even sent the former friends/former board members t-shirts. Thanks for your previous "service" - look what I'm accomplishing all by myself.

I am doing this all by myself.

Forget the approval of former friends. Forget the support of current friends. Forget the skepticism of family. Forget the lawyer and all those satellite programs and suggestions. Forget and get a new BoD!

I am doing this by myself! That's The Problem... I am doing this all by myself.

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This is a stationary post.

Destiny's Journey

Some journeys are well traveled roads. Common, familiar and easy. We cruise along the path oblivious to the process as we habitually turn each corner, climb each hill and break each slope. Only to arrive, blink and wonder how we managed without incident or memory of the trip.

This journey - my journey - is not like that. This journey is one of reluctance, hesitance, unsurity, insecurity and yes, a moderate amount of fear.

As I open the window for you to view my progress, you will undoubtedly come to your own conclusion based upon the progress of your own journey - and your observations will be varied.

Some might say that I am making slow but steady progress toward a clear destination. Others may say that I am floundering and wandering aimlessly down a muddy road with too many directions to choose from.

I say my journey has just begun, although it started more than 10 years ago. I say I still have such a long, long way to go, although I am teetering on the precipice of completion. I say the journey has made me weary, leery and weak, although I trudge on with a strength and endurance that is beyond me. I say the path is muddy, with many obstacles, directions and difficulties still yet to come. However, my destination is clear - crazy, unimaginable, overwhelming and clear.

When this path first appeared it was like a hazy, dirt road on a foggy day. I peered at it without knowing what it was or where it was going - then tried to ignore it as inconsequential. When the path persisted I joked as to where it might lead, then still tried to dismiss it as a path not meant for me.

It was years before the view of the path cleared and I was able to see the destination more clearly. It was absurd to think that the reality of where this path could end up would be in a place far more outlandish than even my most absurd imaginings! OK, maybe - just maybe this path ended up in a very good place - but a place still not meant for me. Definitely not me.

Why not me? Who else but me, since I was the only one to see? Please, Dear God, not me! Yes, me. This path was meant for me.

And so I watched it, argued with it, denied it and tried to imagine a life without pursuing it.

Four - no five, has it already been five? Five years ago I accepted it. I stuck out a big toe like testing the cold water of a pool - then yanked my foot back like I so often would. I wrote about it, dreamed about it, and tried it on for size in the privacy of my dressing room of life. And by the way, I still watched it, argued with it, denied it and tried to imagine a life without pursuing it.

Three - sorry, I forgot - Four years ago I made up my mind. I packed my bags, said good bye to the sanity and sanctuary of friends and family who always had thought they understood me, and I took my first hesitant and frightened step.

In these last four years I have walked, sometimes trotted, but never quite run toward a goal I think is crazy. I have stopped, I have even sat down and I have wistfully looked back to a time when I did not know and could not see what was meant for me.

But I will not stop. I packed my bags (all my baggage), and made up my mind. Armed with nothing but 2 scriptures and a great deal of hope, I continue to trudge on driven by the surity that if - just if - I happen to arrive at this awesome, fearsome destination, it will be extraordinary, phenomenal and inconceivably wonderful. This destination...

A destination, a journey to a place that is called destiny. My destiny. Destiny's purpose in life. My God given purpose.

Sometimes while we travel, we see another driver, glance in that direction and never take note or give them another thought. Perhaps that is how you will see me.

Sometimes we see another traveler and something catches our eye. We may watch a moment, muse a moment or even briefly wonder... Then they continue on their own separate way and thoughts of them fade as quickly as they do. Perhaps that will be how you see me.

Other times we get caught in traffic, bunched up with drivers because of fate. And whether we cruise along peacefully or struggle with road rage, we share a community of progress, each with our own destination. Perhaps that will be how you experience me.

And on rare occasion on our own individual roads of life, we travel a path where we encounter another driver - seemingly traveling to the same basic place. At times they follow us and then we follow them. We may take note of who they are and what they drive - possibly even read a licence plate. We'll share a moment or even a long while - silently and separately together, with maybe a glance, a smile or a brief a wave of acknowledgement. Perhaps that will be how you experience me.

I cannot say how long this path will be for me, so whether you glance and move on - never to take notice; or whether you wonder a moment at who I am and where I'm going; or whether you follow a while, smile and wave or better yet, if you decide to stay for the journey, I invite you to come along for the ride.

Please click on the "Stuff From Before" link to Destiny's Journey to make your comments.